This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
