you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
