im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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