You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
