so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
