dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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