So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize