i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize