We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
