I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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