How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
