Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
