if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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