Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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