He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
