dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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