he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
