i dont even know how to be here
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
