Will you blow on my dice?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Randomize
