Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
