Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
