Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
