The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
