we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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