Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
