last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
