And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
