i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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