I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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