It's Friday. Sex?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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