Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
