i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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