You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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