I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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