i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
