You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
