Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
