thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I want to make a zoo with you.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
