He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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