at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
