my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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