Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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