I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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