the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Banned from zoo.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless