you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.