Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
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So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
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Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.