I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize