u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
