so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
