If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
