He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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