whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
