I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Are we still banned from the library?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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