so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
