You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
