I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
