in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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