Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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