I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That accounts for only three of the penises
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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