I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
