If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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