I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
