We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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