They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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